Let’s be honest; nowadays there is nothing out of reach, nothing out of bounds whatever one can think of, and then something beyond our imagination is out there. What do we have to do, is just look for it. While this is admirable; it does have a downside. Most of us now lack focus; we lack the will to work hard for anything, and most of all we don’t take failures in our stride to learn, evolve and then to move on. Life is but a bed of roses.
Sometimes it can be very difficult to navigate life, understand people and to make a calculated move. As Pakistanis we want to conform to some ideologies. It’s not okay to be totally different but then we want to somehow break free from them as well. While all this might sound absolutely random, in cohesive thoughts, but for each of us there is something different to shed off. It’s like a double bind moment. You would wonder what is double bind? Most probably a spelling error but its not. It’s a very valid term which we should use more frequently to explain the dilemma of life. While we find a solution for one situation it might result in us contradicting another solution for a problem. An easier way of explaining it might be while we end up solving one problem another problem arises. There’s no escaping. No matter how we portray ourselves to be what really matters is inside our strength to thrive in life while their will be many things bogging us down.
There’s this fantastic book called Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery. I loved the book because I read it at a time when I was in a double bind moment, so unsure about myself, where I stand trying to resolve concerns of life. The main protagonists are Renee and Paloma. While, Renee is concierge of the building; Paloma is a young girl living in the same building with her parents. Its one of these really posh places but both feel misfit. Renee tries to hide her true self by dressing up badly and trying to do all the concierge type things she feels a person in her occupation must do. By showing she has no knowledge about anything but in fact in her private time; she was the most refined individual. She read philosophy, ate fine food and listened to fine music. She hid herself somewhere, only to be seen in absolute privacy. While Paloma who had everything in terms of finances and status felt like a misfit because she wanted to see real meaningful life. She too had similar interests as Renee, but they never spoke to each other to share there views. Because both of them never thought they could be so similar even though from the outside they seemed so different. Sometimes what we portray ourselves to be is rough and thorny like a hedgehog but in actuality are absolutely beautiful and elegant from the inside.
In a way their life stories are so true. We have so many possessions in ourselves, which we never share instead of thinking how we should be; I feel we should accept ourselves and share our thoughts. You never know what might come our way. At times this shell we create is our worst enemy, it masks us. Why not be truthful with ourselves. A lot of unsettling and difficult moments would be resolved by itself simply because we were truthful and open to anything. Life is full of profound and life changing moments but we have to grab the opportunity and soak in everything from it.
While all this might be absolutely meaningless and not so philosophical piece of writing I must quote Shakespeare in the end by saying
“You speak an infinite deal of nothing.”